I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
