the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
