I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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