Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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