he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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