How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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