I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's shark week go big or go home
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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