can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i dont even know how to be here
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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