it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize