That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
