we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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