Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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