I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize