OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
