i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
