it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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