I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
