READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
