I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
