imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize