Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
