Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
