we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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