okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
