My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
