It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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