i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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