i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
