Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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