Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
