D3 body, D1 cock
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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