mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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