He had one of those small greek statue penises
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she told me i tasted like america
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
