look no pants
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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