Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
