How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
