belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
