My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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