I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
