Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
