I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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