I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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