I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
