Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
