i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
