after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
