good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it glows. i had to have it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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