They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
