Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
