That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
