I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
