I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A bitchslap is in order.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
