she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
