Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
