why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it because I queefed?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
