The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize