you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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