Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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