Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
