a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
