Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
