You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
