she was so not down for the gang bang
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
