remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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