3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
