Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
